Time to install your relationship black box?

How to stop history from repeating itself

image by Bing illustrator as instructed by author

Black boxes are ‘event data recorders’ that are generally found in aircraft but also in some cars and other vehicles. Following on from an incident or crash, the black box holds the clues for what happened before an accident or crash occurred. In some exceptionally tragic situations, the black box may be the only source of information that can help us achieve the hindsight of understanding the driver’s behaviour and ways of operating the aircraft/car before an incident occurs. As such, it can ensure that the same errors or mistakes do not go on repeat.

When repeated ‘car crashes’ are part of one’s history

For many people I meet with in my psychology clinic, relationship dysfunction has started manifesting in repetitive and predictable ‘car crashes’. Same old story, but with different partners. Not quite the predictability most people associate with happiness, but it for sure suggests that things have become habitual.

If you are headed in a direction where you think an emotional insurance company would start looking the other way upon application, it is time to acknowledge that this problematic output must have at least something to do with you. With this, you also have a degree of control…